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Friday, December 2, 2011

Doo Doo Flakes

Triathletes, on a whole, are a pretty healthy group. We takes great strides to stay healthy, both cardio wise and illness wise, because everything relates to us not wanting to lose training time for any reason, be it a stubborn cold (Summer), or a broken toe (Jenny), we get out there whether we are limping, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, having a heart attack, or not.

I was reminded today at work of a 60 Minutes news story once that spoke about germs and where they hide. The main part of the story was the bathroom (duh), but centered around the germs that's a re-deployed in the air every time you flush (well ... every time 'someone' flushes ... because WE would never use a public restroom at work for doing our business unless absolutely imperative).

Speaking of that, I have to mention that at my office if you go to the men's room between 3:00 and 3:15 you will find the same pair of shoes under the stall everyday. Nice to be that regular. This would probably go unnoticed if it wasn't for the ... unique ... odor this person releases. I'm not being mean. I am actually worried about the guy. It's like something is rotting inside him. I think he should see a doctor. It's not normal. I mean, it's not supposed to be like roses, but ... damn.

Anyway ... back to the flushing issue ...

Every time you flush these little particles saturate the air like millions of little doo doo flakes ... floating in the wind, waiting for a breeze to guide them on a path, say, up your nose or into your mouth, where they can land safely, then spread their little poo children into your system.

This reminds me of Jim Carrey for some reason ... "do I have something in my teeth??"

But that was asparagus ...

And what IS the deal with asparagus? Why does it make my pee smell like that? Nothing else effects me that way ... why is asparagus different?

What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah ... so .... with all the germs you cannot control out here, and being the health conscious people we all are, why do triathletes do some of the things we do??

In the middle of a bike leg, if you see a rider all of a sudden stand up on their peddles, I would advise moving out of the draft zone ... or you may get an early shower. Getting off the bike to relieve yourself would take WAY too much time.

Or wrapping protein bars around the cross bar of your bike so you don't have to open the package while riding ... so that sweat drips onto them .... mmmm ... sweat bars ....

Or using the porta potties ... I cannot tell you how nasty the one was I used at the Florida Rohto last year. You couldn't sit down (as if I would anyway). I swear to you the pile of paper, and other ingredients was above the seat itself.

I am going to end this now. I just used the bathroom and my son was waiting for me to get done so he could get in there. He just walked out here and smiled at me.

I think he has something in his teeth.